baby_sweetpea

It amazes me that after years and years some people never change. I mean that as a compliment for some, while for other ignorant mother fuckers it is just a sad fact.

Now I have the destination set...it's california. I want to go to the California College of Art for writing. But I need a portfolio, which i don't have. Here we go!

I've been thinking a lot..and i think the best solution is to run away. I'm putting together a band of runaways.

Amber(To Squeak)-Do you love your new house with marc?
Squeak-Meow-no I hate it and I miss you and i especially miss playing with kyra...lol

~I just gave my cat away to my friend and I really miss him and want him back.

More and more I feel like he's the one. The one that glues a smile to my cheeks and paints the world a brighter gray.

Moving to Tennessee in January. I'm downloading lots of country songs for my road trip.

 my first favorite band was metallica.  My cousins and I were like 7 years old, and my uncle would blast the speakers so loud.  I remember loving the feeling of the music physically in my chest.  I used to scream "King Nothing" until my vocal chords gave out.  And I still love Metallica.

I think I have to drop out of school. I cant afford my books, so monday i have to withdraw from my two classes. Yeah, two, cuz i couldnt afford to take a full load. It fuckin sucks. I feel like I've tried so hard and i want so bad to make something out of my life, and i can see it all getting farther and farther away. Bummsville.

This past year has been really hectic, and really frustrating. I've cried myself to sleep a lot. But I don't regret any decision I've made or any situation I was in, because it all lead up to today. And today I'm really happy. I haven't been just happy in a long time, and it feels good. I'm not sure where things are going, and for the moment i dont care. My right now is good, and my future seems so far away. Things are just fitting together and no matter how things end up I'm enjoying right now. Really that's all I can ask for, to enjoy right now without any expectations for later.

i like him...and it's starting all over again.